Picture it: On one side of the screen, Tyler’s mom is cackling, her eyes wide, her hair flying everywhere, as she extolls the virtues of "hitting it from the back." On the other, Tyler is making this face, because he’s a boy and that’s his mom and WAIT!!!! Speaking of Jen and Larry, they aren’t happy with Maci. The right thing in this situation, to be honest, is to do whatever Bentley wants to do.
And then he basically says it again, because whoever is editing at MTV made sure to add a subtle echo in there to make it clear that Ryan’s being very threatening. And maybe, and this is me just spit-balling here, this isn’t the end of the world. ), was gearing up to be a decent human being for the very first time in his life, he crushed all our hopes and dreams by badgering Amber until she was near tears. “All of America was rooting for you,” I want to scream at Gary Shirley’s smug little face! ”Here’s the deal: After the success of the haunted hay ride, Amber and Gary decided that they were ready to throw Leah a joint surprise party.
Here’s the thing: On one hand, I have said, “I want to strangle [insert name here],” and thought nothing of it, so perhaps none of us should really be alarmed by what Ryan’s saying; on the other, uh, we didn’t even need MTV’s audio cues to make Ryan sound mildly sinister. Perhaps if Ryan actually stepped it up and stopped viewing “I showed up approximately on time” as the height of parenting, Bentley would be more eager to see him and Maci would be much more open to letting the Edwards take Bentley on a trip. While Amber — always classy, always sexy, always haute — had some minor quibbles about whether the chairs at her town’s budget party location (#RIP DISCOVERY ZONE) would be covered in fabric for the big day, she was ultimately chill and reasonable and easy to work with.
Tyler wants a kid by next year, though, so expect this to be an ongoing theme this season and place your bets on whether the Baltierras will announce a pregnancy sometime soon.
At Nova’s party, which is well-attended and looks real fun (and also offers us a nice shot of Nova literally eating off a knife), Butch gives his granddaughter a beautifully made sleeveless shirt that says #Free Butch and features his handsome mug front and center.
Like the fact that Farrah is moving to San Diego because she has allergies and her neighbors hate her horse; or the fact that no matter how much Mackenzie wants to be on TV (run, girl), she’ll never change how terrible Ryan is; or the fact that if Catelynn wants to have a baby boy the next time she gets pregnant, that she’s going to have to do it doggy style.
Actually, let’s start there, with Nova’s second birthday party, the best present Butch has ever given, and Tyler’s mom folksy, unconventional wisdom.If you were feeling Ryan’s pain before, though (and it would be remiss not to mention that even though he’s a blatant narcissist with no regards for others that he must feel some pain and guilt about not being allowed to make amends), it’s much harder to do so after Maci texts him and says Bentley is coming with her and won’t be joining Ryan for Thanksgiving.Suddenly, he morphs right back into the creepy Ryan of last season (the one who wouldn’t leave the living room of his house) and says that what he’d really like to do is strangle Maci. When her friend Keelie comes over for a chat, Maci reveals that after the cameras stopped rolling, Ryan went off on Maci via text telling her to “shut the fuck up” and calling her “ignorant." No word on how Jen and Larry feel about all of this, but I’m expecting that next week will bring at least a minor blowout, with both the grandparents and Mackenzie involved in solving this problem that’s not really a problem, because, you guys, Bentley doesn’t want to hang out with his dad on Thanksgiving. I’m like Tyra Banks in that one scene where she’s yelling at Tiffany.Jen, who’s always been the most reasonable member of the Edwards clan, tries to smooth things over, but Jaala (the producer who we haven’t seen since she appeared as a literal demon in the Halloween episode) is there to make sure the drama is flowing fresh and free.“I’m over it,” Larry says when speaking about Maci’s behavior, and while Jen tries to get him to chill out, Jaala asks him point-blank if what he’s tired of is Maci having control (despite the fact that Maci’s been the primary parent all this time and their own son has continued to fuck up over and over), and he quickly agrees, going on and on about how Maci should do the right thing. ) but if we’re going to take Maci to task for “doing the right thing,” then we should take a second and run through a few of Ryan’s greatest parenting hits. We don’t have to wait too long for an answer to that question!Right after Maci makes a decision, we see Ryan and Mackenzie discussing the situation over a few drinks.Everyone laughs and laughs (except Tyler, who probably wants to smash a bottle against a wall and shout “is sobriety a motherfucking joke to you?