When I was with the guy with the girlfriend, believing that he felt the same kept me floating for several months. Why was I alone most of the time or living off crumbs and stolen moments and yet in possession of such monumental feelings?
After that, I could only cocoon myself with these feelings for short periods because I realised that after the Future Faking came groundhog affair masquerading as One Day I Might Get My Unprincely Faux Prince if play my Other Woman cards right. And Lord help me, if he’d told me how we were ‘best friends’ one more time, I might have stuck his empty words where the sun don’t shine.
But then fighting against the realisation that in truth, no matter what he was feeling, it wasn’t mutual and it wasn’t something that actually looked and felt good, kept me holding on for about a year. These intense feelings and protestations for this ‘amazing’ ‘soul mate’ relationship that never actually Relationships that aren’t mutual are like ‘restricted’ love. You’re free to let your imagination and even your libido run wild, it’s just that it’s incredibly painful when you realise that you’ve far outpaced reality.
It felt like I’d been a victim of a relationship-jacking. You can be in love on your own but you actually can’t have a mutual relationship, one with love, care, trust, respect and shared values, on your own. You don’t need someone saying “I love you but…you know my situation” or “I love you but I can’t give you what you want” or even “I love you and we’ll always be friends but…” You want someone to say “I love you” – simplicity.
Unfortunately, if it’s not mutual, whatever you have in mind for the relationship isn’t going to happen.
The harder you work at what is already on an imbalanced and unhealthy footing is the mutual it becomes, especially as what you feel and do becomes distorted.
And maybe that’s what’s so incredibly difficult to get your head around in these situations; how can you be feeling these feelings ‘alone’?
It can boggle the mind to fathom how you can feel something so deep, so all encompassing, so consuming…that the other person doesn’t feel. Surely we can’t feel so intensely for someone without having some contribution from them?The show follows two groups of people who live in California. The interesting part is the interactions between the cast members and their lovers. There was so much more to learn about these people.This program is a reality show which shows the lives of these people. The triad is composed of a husband and wife and their life partner, who is another female. However, they also have other lovers who they get together with. One couple has a young son, the other couple has no children. To enjoy Hulu.com, you'll need to enable Java Script in your web browser.Please configure your security software or browser plugins to allow to load Java Script.If you require assistance, please contact customer support.