By the time the couple separated and sought counseling, the emotional affair had progressed to the point where the husband could see himself having children with the manager -- and the wife no longer felt comfortable walking into her own business.
You've crossed the line, Houston said, if you're hiding any aspect of your relationship from your spouse, meeting after work for social rather than work situations, start moving your conversations from business to personal topics, and specifically, if you start complaining about your real spouse. If this relationship supersedes your relationship with your spouse, where you're spending more time or sharing more information with this person, that's a danger sign," she said. If you're on business trips, meet in the conference rooms or lobby, not in hotel rooms."And if you're reluctant to share anything you do or say with your spouse, even if it seems innocent, you have to ask yourself why." To get right, you have to "back pedal," Houston said. If you sense anything is going on, nip it in the bud." And if you still proclaim innocence, Houston said you can test yourself with one specific question: 'If you were single, is this the type of person you would want to be with?There are the obvious ones such as lipstick on the collar, or a phone number left in his pants after a night out with the guys.There are also subtle signs such as strange body language when asked a specific question or even the lack of “eye contact” when the questions get tough."Work is often so stressful, we need somebody to process things with." The problem, Olds said, is when that close friendship is with someone of the sex you're attracted to.
"Two good friends who don't think they would be attracted can accidentally fall into infatuation. People underestimate the power of infatuation and think they can handle temptation much better than they can." Work spouse relationships subtly evolve into emotional affairs by meeting basic human needs.In one case, a husband and wife started a popular events business, in which he handled the day-to-day work and she took care of the finances.He spent long hours with one colleague, a manager, planning and running the events.They'd often stay late after everyone went home to talk about the evening.The talks turned personal, with the husband sharing that he had fallen out of love with his wife.Dangerous liaisons happen out of the spotlight, too.