There’s a profound connection between them, even if it’s difficult and challenging for you.But as Christine put it: “They obviously did something right, because Ron’s a great guy.Either way, I feel like in the end, I’m the monster.
Because of an emergency with her sibling, she wasn’t able to spend the night at his house.
Miffed Midwest Mom Miffed Midwest Mom: If your daughter doesn’t feel welcome in your home, then yes, you have no choice but to go to where she is to spend time with her.
(MORE: Confessions of a Daughter Outlaw) Trying to Make Everyone Happy Doesn’t Work Christine reminisced about her own childhood holidays, when her parents, both deceased, would invite the whole extended family over for a huge Christmas Eve pork roast, celebrate with and loud music, and play a game of family trivia.
It was a super-fun contest among all the relatives, and they would party into the wee hours.
Christine and I had a good chuckle about the contrast between the two cultures, but I could see she was genuinely distressed.
So I offered her the following survival tips, which I feel are useful to everyone whose in-laws sometimes get the best of them.With someone as volatile as his mother, you will have to take her behavior on a case-by-case basis, and make decisions as you go.Your partner should definitely seek a “friends and family” support group for the children of alcoholics.While I understand that no one is perfect, it seems to me that my partner’s mother has had it in for me since we met. She’s yelled at me, told me I’m not good enough for her son and kicked us out of her house because we didn’t want to get drunk with her. I help with dishes every morning, afternoon and evening.Every time I go home with him, she ends up drunk-fighting with my boyfriend about our relationship. I clean up after myself, speak to her the way I would anyone else and follow the rules she’s put in place. When the topic of his mother came up, he said that if I wanted our children to see his mother, that was fine — but if I didn’t, my partner was okay with that, too. While I understand that his mum might change, I also don’t want to put my children in an environment where their grandmother disrespects their mother.This sort of disrespect and boundary-smashing is common; you both need to learn how to deal with this behavior, instead of merely expecting and then tolerating it. I drove to pick her up from her college town and stayed one night there with her.