No, according to American researchers, the tipping point comes between 17 and 23 days after the first message is sent.They conducted a survey of 433 online daters and found that the longer they waited to meet a match in person, the more likely they were to feel let down.What’s more, you have no way of telling which bits of information are true.
The fact is – you’re unlikely to meet a con artist or lunatic.But in all likelihood, you’re probably going to have a drink with someone who just doesn’t do it for you. I recall a friend excitedly going off for a first date with a chap - ‘I just have a good feeling about this one, he’s an academic you know’ - only to discover he was a librarian who spent the entire meal talking about dust jackets.One friend tells me that, if she has a positive feeling about someone, she gives them the details of her Facebook account and switches to messaging them away from the dating site.That way, you can mutually scout each other’s profiles and get a clearer impression of whether you’d get along socially. But if they don’t have anything to hide (and assuming you don’t) it’s one way to let someone in, before taking the step to meet them – especially if you don’t live particularly near one another. I’m not advising that you throw caution to the wind and arrange a date for every day of the week (although if you feel confident enough to do so, then go for it.Of course, exchanging a barrage of emails – even phone calls or Skyping– can seem more secure.
You can ‘get to know’ someone from behind the safety of a screen.“Try not to message for more than two weeks, and if you're nervous, you could always speak on the phone first.It feels a bit more intimate.” Of course, if you’re nervous, there are other things you can do to speed up the getting-to-know-you process.That trend that was significantly more obvious after the 17 to 23 day ‘tipping point’. That its lead researcher, Artemio Ramirez Jr., an Associate Professor, met his wife online in 2005.Their first date was within that all-important window, of course (although he didn’t realise it at the time).An unsung skill of the social networking age is the ability to pick a good profile picture, whether for Facebook, Linked In, Twitter or Tinder.