Messaging a guy online dating

(On How About We, this is the “I’m Intrigued” button, on OKCupid it’s a wink.) In general, this is not a good way for a guy to approach a girl on an online dating site.

It says “Hey, I might be sort of interested in you, but I’m going to let you do all the legwork.” Don’t give her a nudge and expect her to then message you, because she probably won’t.

But lightning can strike twice, and in the case of connections online, often times they come in bunches, for better or for worse. So girls and guys must have drastically different experiences with online dating.I don’t care enough to try.” Impersonal greetings are just lazy, and I don’t have time to respond to hundreds of identical “sups” from people who may or may not be interested in me personally.Maybe saying hi at a party works just fine, but online daters aren’t so easily wooed.This isn’t a cover letter for a job application; there’s really no need to be formal.

Girls on online dating sites really can get bombarded with messages, and at that point, they’re not really likely to spend more than 15 seconds quickly scanning through a message before decided to keep reading or not, . ” Later, once you guys have gone back and forth a few times, you can feel free to write longer, more involved messages.

Anybody who has ever done the online dating thing for a while knows the feeling of seeing “You have a new match! You trade a few more messages, and you think, “What gives? and then keep flooding your inbox with messages, without ever making a move.

It gets better still when that match or message turns out to be from someone with great pictures (though not too great, if you know what I mean . .) and a creative and informative bio (yet not overstated). Things continue to look hopeful after you exchange the first few messages.

I don’t speak for everyone, of course, but my experience with online dating has gone something like this: find a girl I like, we “match,” I send a message, and I may or may not hear back.

The ones I hear back from, we may have further interactions of substance; we may not. Sometimes she’ll even keep chatting with me as if I didn’t just ask her out. “Um, did you get that message that included me asking you on a date? Or should I try again at a later date and pretend like it was the first time?

The girls post a profile and get bombarded with messages from guys, guys scan profiles and message the girls.