At each new point, we always had a conversation to find out where we were and how we felt.
Ashley: We met in a seminar that was set up like a production company, and I was his boss. About a year later, after ending a terrible relationship and getting fired from my job, I went to a party at his house.He asked if anybody wanted to go four-wheeling, and I said I did. Kelly: She didn’t really know it was supposed to be a date. Ashley: I’m bisexual, and if this were true, I wouldn’t have any friends. And I have been attracted to most of them at some point or another, just not in a way that I could or wanted to sustain. Kelly: I think that viewing relationships as an inevitable thing that happens between two people who are attracted to each other takes away from the emotional vulnerability, and work, that goes into building strong commitments.Ashley: The second time around, after he’d lived in Seattle, he just showed up on my doorstep and kissed me. Also, it really doesn’t say much for platonic friendship if you can only be friends with people you aren’t attracted to.Kelly: The person I want to hang out with most is right next to me when I wake up.Also, if your friend doesn’t share those feelings, don’t be angry with them. I would have liked it to be more then, but it wasn’t, so we became friends. Brice: I always harbored a greater appreciation and respect for Maggie than “just a friend.”Maggie: The best year of my life. The company had just gone through some big milestones and I was totally fried. The moment we saw each other – we hadn’t seen each other in a while – it was on. Of being alive.’ It was real life, better than I could have imagined.
(So far.)Brice: We could say we’ve been together for a year, but we could also say we’ve not been apart for eight or nine or 10 in many ways. Pretty much out of the blue, he said, ‘Look, I need to get out of town. It just made total sense, and was a complete surprise at the same time.I learned this lesson the hard way when I started dating a friend in high school.Not only were we good friends, but our families were also extremely close and had been for years.And you’ll probably recognise all these signs that it’s really happening… Dating is funny The first time you go on a date, you both just spend the whole time laughing at the situation – why is this dinner different to all the other times you got a pizza, drank some wine and moaned about your job? Your first kiss isn’t awkward Which is a major shock. You don’t have to go through that tricky ‘getting to know each other’ phase Because you already know all each other’s bad habits, you know how to deal with them and you can cut the ‘where do you want to be in five years’ time? ’ conversation Because you wouldn’t have got into this in the first place if you didn’t think it was going somewhere. But you probably will have a ‘will this ruin our friendship? You know all each other’s secrets When someone brings up an ex by mistake, or something embarrassing from your partner’s past, neither of you gets upset – after all, you were the one getting the late-night calls about it when you were just friends. No one will believe you were ever just friends No matter how long you were really just friends for, and no matter how many other serious relationships took place during that time, when you announce you’re together, everyone will think this affair has been secretly going on for years. Your exes will be furious ‘I always knew you liked each other! ’ conversation Because that’s what happens in movies when best friends get together, so it’s compulsory. You wonder why this didn’t happen years earlier And save you both wasting years and years on people who weren’t good enough, didn’t actually like you that much or even broke your heart. No one will ever believe you are together Years later, when you are married with three children, your old friends will still look at you and say ‘Really? ’ will be the phrase du jour, even though you swear you really, really didn’t. There’s no awkward ‘meeting the parents’ dinner Because you’ve known them for years, and they always secretly hoped you guys would date. You’ll tell all your other friends to date their friends So much easier! We had a shared history, our siblings adored each other and we even went on a few joint-family vacations.